WELL WELL I think it's freaking time for an update.. SO this blog is mainly made for some venting.. so here it goes.. umm I want to BE OUT OF NY SO BADLY!! I want to go to Korea for a couple months for school.. or even better become famous and stay in KOREA.. I'm going star crazy right now. I'm so stressed lately.. being kicked out of HUNTER, almost getting fired at work, and just knowing I'm at my lowest point of life right now is KILLING ME! I can't believe how lazy and stupid I am for being kicked out of COLLEGE! BIG DISGRACE to my family.. I didn't break it to them yet.. but I AM planning on doing so. Right now I just want to be focused on school and getting my GPA back up.. HONESTLY there's no more fucking around. I've fucked my freshman year.. now it's time to grow up and take education seriously. Other than that I've been so crazy about getting famous in KOREA. I love everything about it. I haven't been so serious something since now. I love the idea of becoming famous.. although I know it's going to be so hard. I'm ready for hard work coming for me.. I need to change my life.. fame.. here I come.

HELLO! damn it's been like 3 months.. alright so A WHOLE LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE.. anyone care? okay. well my life is just drama drama drama.. kiddin.. seriously I have a pretty shitty and boring life. I just went to dye my hair today and they sort of messed it up.. I asked for dark medium brown BUT of course it came out light brown.. I hate it because I look so fobby and it doesn't look natural.. I guess I'll just have to deal because I paid $65.. something that hasn't change is the fact that I am STILL a procrastinator.. I am going to a workshop to help resolve that problem.. majority of the blame goes to me for being damn lazy. 

DOING WHAT I DO BEST.. SHOP!

So the past week I've been shopping a lot.. I am officially done shopping because I got everything I needed and I am broke.

Uniqlo zip grey hoodie.. $40

UNIQLO blue hoodie.. $30

American Apparel cardigan.. $44

A Marc Jacobs watch.. $227

True religions.. $120

LOVE THIS JACKET.. Moncler green.. $900

Green tee from Urban outfitter.. $12

Diesel belt.. $60

Marc Jacobs tee.. $35

beige tee from urban outfitter.. $12

FIRST DAY BEGINS..

MERRY CHRISTMAS! sorry if I am half an hour late. My christmas was okay.. family, food, and gifts.. what can possibly go wrong right? well except for the fact that my family KEPT bugging me about how I should stop going to the tanning salon. They are constantly telling me how it's not good for my skin and I will have skin cancer. I honestly know that already but I just can't stop.. I guess I am a tanaholic as well as a shopaholic. I am a person who is very easily persuaded so after tonight I told myself that I will STOP tanning COMPLETELY! I know it's going to be so hard and weird because I've been tanning for 3 years so its been a while since I been pale. I know I can do it.. just got to keep telling myself it's for the best. So officially today is my first day.. actually.. it's my second because it's 12:33 am. 

I failed one of my first classes(as I expected). I am a little bummed but it was no shocker because I was expecting it. I'm going to have to step my game up if I want to study abroad at Korea. My GPA is 1.0.. can you freaking believe that.. that's a shit grade. When my cousins asked how I was doing in school, I had to lie because I was too embarrassed. I'm not taking it too hard on myself because it is my first term so I can work twice as hard to improve myself =).. that is of course totally up to me. I feel so stressed right now because I have so much shit to worry about. A new year means another year has pass and gone.. must start new. Speaking of New year I have a whole list of New Years resolution that I WILL ACCOMPLISH. 

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION (in no specific order):

- improve my vocals(singing) to become a Korean singer.

- STUDY AND DO BETTER IN SCHOOL!

- learn Korean

- GET ABS -_- this has been my new years resolution for the 4th year already.. still hasn't happened yet.. but will this year.. hopefully

- STUDY ABROAD AT KOREA but of course in order to do that GPA needs to be picked up sky high.. and based on my major

- WORK WORK WORK to save up money

- STOP SHOPPING AND SPENDING ON USELESS ITEMS (especially clothes).. I can open a store with the amount of clothes I have

- BE A BETTER PERSON.. I am so selfish, materialistic, short tempered, and very judgemental.. all that needs to change. This is the most important to me because I want to be a better person.. if not change all, at least change 2 out of the 4

- STOP PROCRASTINATING! I lied.. this is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT because I will NEVER accomplish anything right being a procrastinator. 

- last but not least.. accomplish all these and I am good for the year

SHOPPING PROBLEM!

So if you didn't already know.. I am a huge SHOPAHOLIC. I also always refer myself as materialistic and this blog will show you why.

So christmas is around the corner. What I should be doing is spending money on gifts for friends and family right? instead I spend money on myself.. did I mention I was also selfish?

75th anniversary Lacoste sneakers.. price: $120 from bloomingdales

Alternative earth V-neck Tee.. price $20 from urban outfitters

True religion Ricky's.. price: $320 from Saks fifth Ave

Diesel V-neck Tee.. price: $50

More True Religion Jeans.. Nathan fit and Ricky fit.. Yes, they are exactly alike but different fits so it sort of different.. I love the whole light wash.. price: $263 and $280 from Atrium NYC and Bloomingdales

Last but not least.. Kenneth Cole vest.. original price: $88 reduced to $50

So overall my total spending came to $1,103.. I need help. 

Random picture of the day:

taken at school.. of course paying attention like I should be

FUTURE KOREAN SINGER!

It's been a while since I've updated. Not much happened but FINALLY FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE IS OVER! so excited to have the month off, but a little depressed that I didn't register for new classes yet so I am an idiot. I am of course being distracted right now because I am suppose to be studying for a math final that's tomorrow, it's just so damn hard. I wanted to take a little time out and write a little bit on here because I am feeling stressed and conflicted. I needed to pour everything out. So I FINALLY MADE UP MY MIND ON WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR A CAREER! I am going to strive for my goal to become a Korean singer. Everyone thinks I am joking but I am so serious. I am planning to audition for SM next year. As of now I am going to practice my voice because I have a LOOOONNGGG way to go. There is some doubts though because I really want to finish school as well, just for a back up plan. It isn't going to be easy to balance a career and school but I really don't mind. I know for a fact my family isn't going to support me as much as I thought they would. All the stories I've heard and read about being famous is pretty scary. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors. Okay so enough rambling, I really want to be famous! I know I can do it but I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it like I said I can. UGH everything is so hard. So SM audition is being held September of 2009 I think. Doesn't matter, now until then, I have so much to work on. First I'll have school and studies, work, LOSING WEIGHT, and of course getting a trainer to work on my vocals. Reason I capitalized losing weight is because from what I heard, SM goes for looks more than talent. I am not fat, but of course looking more fit would be a plus and better chance of getting chosen. My singing isn't horrible but it does need work. I'm confident I can be successful if I put a lot of effort into it. THIS IS IT! it's what I want to do. It's not going to be something that I am interested in, it's what I AM going to do. At least that's what I am hoping for. 

PROCRASTINATOR!

AHHHH!! I am so upset right now. I honestly feel like shit because of college. I am failing terribly and I didn't do anything about. I remember senior year of high school I told myself that I will do really well in college so I can transfer out of a city college within a year. BUT GUESS WHAT? instead of doing what I said I'll do, I'm slacking off and being lazy. I honestly HATE myself for being such a careless and irresponsible person. As of now I haven't passed ONE exam from ANY of my classes and literally I mean none . I don't understand why I didn't do anything about it since I knew exams are the most important. It's almost the end of the first semester and I regret it now? WHY am I so stupid. I told myself that I will be somebody one day and right now all I'm doing is ruining my future. I seriously hate myself. I feel like I let my family down. i promised my grandma that I will do good but all I did was LIE to her. THIS WILL BE A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME! I will take college seriously and not act like a child anymore.