conflicted..

Recently i've been really stressed. i hate to admit it but i am beginning to feel very lonely =(. it's been almost 3 years since my last relationship and as much as tell people i love being single.. it's all a lie. i guess it's because one) i am in denial and don't want to try another relationship and get my heart broken and 2) i am just very high maintenance and picky. i really miss the holding hands, talking on the phone, giving each other kisses, arguing over little things, buying things for each other, giving each other surprises, etc. most importantly.. i miss the feeling of loving someone. i mean being single is great and all because there is no commitment but it can get very lonely sometimes. i have friends that love me.. but obviously thats different from the love you get in a relationship. if i keep up with my ways.. i know for a fact i will NEVER find someone.