FIRST DAY BEGINS..

MERRY CHRISTMAS! sorry if I am half an hour late. My christmas was okay.. family, food, and gifts.. what can possibly go wrong right? well except for the fact that my family KEPT bugging me about how I should stop going to the tanning salon. They are constantly telling me how it's not good for my skin and I will have skin cancer. I honestly know that already but I just can't stop.. I guess I am a tanaholic as well as a shopaholic. I am a person who is very easily persuaded so after tonight I told myself that I will STOP tanning COMPLETELY! I know it's going to be so hard and weird because I've been tanning for 3 years so its been a while since I been pale. I know I can do it.. just got to keep telling myself it's for the best. So officially today is my first day.. actually.. it's my second because it's 12:33 am. 

I failed one of my first classes(as I expected). I am a little bummed but it was no shocker because I was expecting it. I'm going to have to step my game up if I want to study abroad at Korea. My GPA is 1.0.. can you freaking believe that.. that's a shit grade. When my cousins asked how I was doing in school, I had to lie because I was too embarrassed. I'm not taking it too hard on myself because it is my first term so I can work twice as hard to improve myself =).. that is of course totally up to me. I feel so stressed right now because I have so much shit to worry about. A new year means another year has pass and gone.. must start new. Speaking of New year I have a whole list of New Years resolution that I WILL ACCOMPLISH. 

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION (in no specific order):

- improve my vocals(singing) to become a Korean singer.

- STUDY AND DO BETTER IN SCHOOL!

- learn Korean

- GET ABS -_- this has been my new years resolution for the 4th year already.. still hasn't happened yet.. but will this year.. hopefully

- STUDY ABROAD AT KOREA but of course in order to do that GPA needs to be picked up sky high.. and based on my major

- WORK WORK WORK to save up money

- STOP SHOPPING AND SPENDING ON USELESS ITEMS (especially clothes).. I can open a store with the amount of clothes I have

- BE A BETTER PERSON.. I am so selfish, materialistic, short tempered, and very judgemental.. all that needs to change. This is the most important to me because I want to be a better person.. if not change all, at least change 2 out of the 4

- STOP PROCRASTINATING! I lied.. this is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT because I will NEVER accomplish anything right being a procrastinator. 

- last but not least.. accomplish all these and I am good for the year

SHOPPING PROBLEM!

So if you didn't already know.. I am a huge SHOPAHOLIC. I also always refer myself as materialistic and this blog will show you why.

So christmas is around the corner. What I should be doing is spending money on gifts for friends and family right? instead I spend money on myself.. did I mention I was also selfish?

75th anniversary Lacoste sneakers.. price: $120 from bloomingdales

Alternative earth V-neck Tee.. price $20 from urban outfitters

True religion Ricky's.. price: $320 from Saks fifth Ave

Diesel V-neck Tee.. price: $50

More True Religion Jeans.. Nathan fit and Ricky fit.. Yes, they are exactly alike but different fits so it sort of different.. I love the whole light wash.. price: $263 and $280 from Atrium NYC and Bloomingdales

Last but not least.. Kenneth Cole vest.. original price: $88 reduced to $50

So overall my total spending came to $1,103.. I need help. 

Random picture of the day:

taken at school.. of course paying attention like I should be

FUTURE KOREAN SINGER!

It's been a while since I've updated. Not much happened but FINALLY FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE IS OVER! so excited to have the month off, but a little depressed that I didn't register for new classes yet so I am an idiot. I am of course being distracted right now because I am suppose to be studying for a math final that's tomorrow, it's just so damn hard. I wanted to take a little time out and write a little bit on here because I am feeling stressed and conflicted. I needed to pour everything out. So I FINALLY MADE UP MY MIND ON WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR A CAREER! I am going to strive for my goal to become a Korean singer. Everyone thinks I am joking but I am so serious. I am planning to audition for SM next year. As of now I am going to practice my voice because I have a LOOOONNGGG way to go. There is some doubts though because I really want to finish school as well, just for a back up plan. It isn't going to be easy to balance a career and school but I really don't mind. I know for a fact my family isn't going to support me as much as I thought they would. All the stories I've heard and read about being famous is pretty scary. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors. Okay so enough rambling, I really want to be famous! I know I can do it but I just don't know if I'll be able to handle it like I said I can. UGH everything is so hard. So SM audition is being held September of 2009 I think. Doesn't matter, now until then, I have so much to work on. First I'll have school and studies, work, LOSING WEIGHT, and of course getting a trainer to work on my vocals. Reason I capitalized losing weight is because from what I heard, SM goes for looks more than talent. I am not fat, but of course looking more fit would be a plus and better chance of getting chosen. My singing isn't horrible but it does need work. I'm confident I can be successful if I put a lot of effort into it. THIS IS IT! it's what I want to do. It's not going to be something that I am interested in, it's what I AM going to do. At least that's what I am hoping for. 

PROCRASTINATOR!

AHHHH!! I am so upset right now. I honestly feel like shit because of college. I am failing terribly and I didn't do anything about. I remember senior year of high school I told myself that I will do really well in college so I can transfer out of a city college within a year. BUT GUESS WHAT? instead of doing what I said I'll do, I'm slacking off and being lazy. I honestly HATE myself for being such a careless and irresponsible person. As of now I haven't passed ONE exam from ANY of my classes and literally I mean none . I don't understand why I didn't do anything about it since I knew exams are the most important. It's almost the end of the first semester and I regret it now? WHY am I so stupid. I told myself that I will be somebody one day and right now all I'm doing is ruining my future. I seriously hate myself. I feel like I let my family down. i promised my grandma that I will do good but all I did was LIE to her. THIS WILL BE A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME! I will take college seriously and not act like a child anymore.

SHINEE FIGHTING!

For those who know the Korean group SHINEE.. I am now a huge fan of their music. They honestly inspire me because they are around my age and so talented. Even though I don't understand their songs, I still love it. I feel like I'm 13 again, when backstreet boys and Nysnc were big. Many ask WHY KOREA? I honestly don't know. I just woke up one morning and said thought to myself "wow I want to be famous in Korea".. no joke that is what happened. The only thing is I need to learn Korean first.. and I know with my lazy ass that's not going to happen. My family and friends said to me "BUT your not Korean".. NO KIDDING! but I look like it and just as long as I know the language then I'm good to go. SO the purpose of this blog is let ALL OF YOU KNOW that one day it will happen. 

cupcake lover..

HEY GUYS! so i am in class right now doing another blog because i am really paying attention in class. so i had something to share.. i find this weird but recently i've been addicted to cupcakes. it all started when i was trying to look for a sprinkles in ny but there wasn't.. so i try to look for something that was similar and i found crumbs. so i bought the mini cupcakes that was $20 for i forgot how many there were.. it sounds pricey for cupcakes but it was so worth every penny. so anyway since my cousins birthday is tomorrow.. i decided to buy her cupcakes. i was originally going to go back to crumbs but that was until i discovered magnolia and sugar sweet sunshine. i did a whole lot of research on each store and both rating seems to be higher than crumbs. i have no choice but to go on a mission to try each store out. i am actually going to go after class so i am excited.. haha anyway so i will definitely do a review on how each store is.

random picture:
so when i first brought crumbs i took a picture of the box because i am just weird like that.. and i actually made a video of me eating the cupcakes but i'm not posting because it just shows how crazy i am.














so i am done with the weird blog.. until next time.

conflicted..

Recently i've been really stressed. i hate to admit it but i am beginning to feel very lonely =(. it's been almost 3 years since my last relationship and as much as tell people i love being single.. it's all a lie. i guess it's because one) i am in denial and don't want to try another relationship and get my heart broken and 2) i am just very high maintenance and picky. i really miss the holding hands, talking on the phone, giving each other kisses, arguing over little things, buying things for each other, giving each other surprises, etc. most importantly.. i miss the feeling of loving someone. i mean being single is great and all because there is no commitment but it can get very lonely sometimes. i have friends that love me.. but obviously thats different from the love you get in a relationship. if i keep up with my ways.. i know for a fact i will NEVER find someone.

yet another late blog..

so this is my 2nd blog and i am posting it at 4 a.m. in the morning.. i am pretty sure by now people know i love to sleep late. I hate the weather in NY cause it got so cold and now i am sick. so i was browsing on youtube and i don't know how but i am currently listening to 浪子心聲 by Sam Hui and it just brings back so much childhood memories. Even though i have no idea what 75% of the song means.. it's a great song and I'm sure there is a deep meaning behind it.. OK so I'm rambling because i am so tired. next time i promise I'll post earlier.. but then again no one reads my blogs so i am only promising myself.. good night to myself.

FIRST BLOG!...

woohoo first post.. i might as well make this a personal diary cause i know no one will look or comment on these post since i'm no one special.. it's like 3:48 a.m. and i don't know why i am still up.. well i decided to join fraternity and everything is going pretty swell.. GO KAPPA SIGMA! ok whatever i am tired.. good night.


Random picture:
















I love doing hookah cause i love seeing the smoke.